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Archive for May, 2012|Monthly archive page

Just a Crush

In Culture, Music, Relationships on May 31, 2012 at 9:15 pm

There’s something so sweet and humbling about having a crush on someone.

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“This Fine Social Scene” by Zero 7

In Art, Beauty, Culture, Family, Friends, Music, Relationships on May 30, 2012 at 8:37 pm

Sometimes it’s difficult to see the truth in the pantomime that we call our social circles. Stay lucid.

You’ve Been Cheated On-Now What?

In Culture, Family, Friends, Relationships on May 29, 2012 at 3:54 pm

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For some of us, being cheated on by a significant other describes an episode in every relationship we’ve ever had. This can be a physical act of cheating or emotional cheating which I feel are both bad, the latter maybe more so than the former. For the few who have never been cheated on (or at least aren’t aware of it having happened) fear this event and wish to avoid it at all costs. Being that this topic is often at the top of many conversations as of late in my friendship circles, I thought I’d share a few things with you all that will hopefully help you cope in a healthy manner if you are experiencing it, or ease the paranoia for those who have not.

1. It happened. No, really. It happened. There are few that are lucky enough to have a visual aid of their mate cheating (i.e. walking in on them, seeing emails or texts and pictures, etc.) while others may learn by hearsay. Visual aids give you less ability to doubt what happened. Do not be in denial about what you saw. The phrase “It’s not what it looks like!” makes me giggle. It’s exactly what it looks like. You’re not an idiot. Accept that it has occurred and begin your healing process.

2. If you’ve never been cheated on or have been and you fear being cheated on again the worst thing to do is obsess about this event taking place. Don’t play out scenarios in your head, search through your mate’s phone in hopes to find dirt, or randomly accuse them of cheating with no evidence. You’ll only look crazier than you already are. Besides, if the person makes you that paranoid then you should leave the relationship and work on your issues with yourself before entering into a new relationship or reuniting. Emotional baggage is real! Stop carrying it everywhere you go.

3. It isn’t your fault. You were cheated on and somehow you decide to dissect yourself and not your cheating mate. You may feel that you didn’t do something enough, or look a certain way, or acted a certain way and that led the person to tip out on you. Nope! Not true. When people are emotionally mature and they address the issues that they are having with their mate and they attempt to solve it, not sleep with someone else to cover up their “pain.”

4. Embrace your feelings. Are you sad? Do you feel that all of your time, love, and effort have gone to waste? Or are you happy because you wanted a way out of the relationship and your idiot mate served it to you on a platter? Either way, embrace your feelings. Look to your friends and family for comfort and support if needed.

5. Don’t publicize the issue. You’re feeling some type of way and you’re willing to share it with the world. Try not to. It can lead you to confuse your true feelings about the situation because you have so many different sources giving you unsolicited advice. If you do need to vent, do just that but be careful who you vent to.

6. There’s no definitive time for you to get over it. You may feel better about it in a day, a week. A few months. To be even more honest, you may actually never get over it but the pain will subside in time, I promise. The important part is to not let the situation cripple your ability to trust others. Because in the end you’ll only be punishing yourself and isolating yourself from meeting great people. Besides that, being bitter is very unattractive.

7. Whether or not you choose to be with your mate after infidelity should be solely YOUR choice. Whatever you decide to do please be wise about your decision and be honest with yourself about your feelings. Know that it is possible for a couple to bounce back from infidelity and live a happy and healthy relationship. Nevertheless, your mental and emotional health is paramount. Not to mention your physical health, which can be compromised if your mate cheats on you with someone who is not the most forthcoming with their “status” (I work in healthcare so I see this happen nearly every day).

All That Jazz

In Art, Culture, Music on May 24, 2012 at 4:38 pm

I love this song by Sergio Mendes titled “The Waters Of March.” It has such a chill feel and it seems so appropriate for today’s sunny day. Hope you enjoy it 🙂

Can a Woman Be Too Feminine?

In Culture, Family, Friends on May 22, 2012 at 10:08 pm

“There’s no such thing as a woman being too feminine.”

-Retro Charm Star

I have had people tell me that I’m too girly or too feminine. That’s impossible, I am a woman and a woman can never be too much of a woman. I’ve embraced womanhood with a smile, accepting my curves and the fact that I love things that are sparkly, butterflies, make up, manicures, pedicures, bows, etc. just as much as I love to write, discuss politics, health care and consulting, etc. Please note that I am not reducing being a woman merely to the list of items I previously named. Instead, that list is to describe things that a woman may enjoy and can enjoy because we are women! The point is do what comes natural to you and be who you want to be to make yourself feel happy, as long as you’re not hurting/harming anyone in the process.

Friendship

In Family, Friends on May 21, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.

― C.S. Lewis

Break Dancin’!

In Art, Culture, Music on May 17, 2012 at 3:12 pm

I have tons of work to complete today so I’ve decided to watch break dancing videos to get me amped lol I mean seriously, who doesn’t like to watch break dancing? *pop-locks then robots away from the computer* Enjoy!

“You Got Me” by The Roots

In Friends, Music, Relationships on May 16, 2012 at 8:47 pm

“If you are worried ’bout where, I been or who I saw or…what club I went to with my homies baby don’t worry you know that you got me…”

“Lovely Day”- Bill Withers

In Uncategorized on May 15, 2012 at 3:30 pm

This is such an awesome song. It always makes me smile. Enjoy!

Are Relationships Hard? Part 1

In Friends, Music, Relationships on May 14, 2012 at 1:42 pm

Do you feel that relationships are difficult and involve daily emotional battles with your mate that make you feel empty partnered with moments of manic euphoria? Well, you’re wrong. Ignore mainstream media, your jaded friends who decided to be in a terrible relationship and pretend to be happy, and your own bad memories from past relationships. Also, forget the notion that you’re asking too much of a person in a relationship. See, if you’re an awesome person (like a genuinely awesome person, not an egoist) *leans in to whisper* God didn’t break the mold with you… there are other great people out there that want exactly what you want in a relationship. The key is to stay away from the crazies so you won’t miss your opportunity to link up with a sane person. It’s that easy. I know it sounds too good to be true. Now you may be wondering about baggage and drama. I’ll address that in Part 2, I promise. And just in case you needed a little more guidance on how relationships should go, listen to Al Green’s “Simply Beautiful” (I’ve included the video) & check out the lyrics below. He explains the fundamentals of relationships:

If I gave you my love,
I tell you what I’d do
I’d expect a whole lotta love outta you

You gotta be good to me
I’m gonna be good to you
There’s a whole lotta things you and I
Could do
Hey hey

Hey hey hey

Simply beautiful simply beautiful simply
Beautiful
Simply beautiful simply beautiful simply
Beauti..
Simply beautiful
Simply beautiful
Simply beautiful
Simply beautiful

What about the way you love me
And the way you squeeze me
Hey
Hey simply beautiful hey

And you get right down it
And the love is getting you through it

Simply beautiful [Repeat to end]

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