retrocharmstar

How to Tell if Your Relationship Isn’t Worth Salvaging: Part 1

In Friends, Relationships on July 26, 2010 at 3:33 am

There comes a time in your relationship where you’ll wonder to yourself “Why am I here?” and you may internally debate whether or not you should make an exit. Here are a few things you should consider when deciding whether or not you should save your relationship:

  1. Realize why you’re having these doubts. Is it due to monogamy issues, trust issues, boredom, etc.? After isolating the issue, be honest with yourself and figure out whether or not rectifying it is a personal issue or involves your mate. Present the problem to your mate & work on it. In the end, if you feel that you are compromising your happiness to continue on with this relationship-then it’s not worth salvaging.
  2. Have you grown in this relationship? Does your mate bring out your positive attributes, or do you always argue? Can you confide in them, or do you have to constantly turn to your friends because you feel ignored or are afraid of judgment from your mate? Realize that healthy relationships are not built on distrust or fear. If you cannot openly communicate with your mate and they do not care to hear you out-the relationship is not worth salvaging. Their disregard will only grow over time because they will become used to your placidness.
  3. Are you constantly berated by your mate? Are you called names, or are you picked on about your appearance? Aside from a joke or two, teasing like this is extensive. These may seem subtle to most, but you must recognize that emotional and mental abuse can be just as scarring as physical abuse. If you approach your mate and ask them to stop this and they disregard your request, your relationship may not be worth salvaging. Do not allow your mate to lower your self esteem, doing so allows them to control you.
  4. Does your mate have self-abusive or self-destructive tendencies? Do they intentionally put themselves in situations that require you to “rescue them?” This is another control tactic. They make you feel as if they will literally not be able to go on without you. In turn, you feel guilt for wanting to leave them. Trust that they will continue on without you because they’ll find another person to manipulate in the event that you leave. So don’t worry about saving this relationship.

I intend on writing a second part to this topic because as situations arise I know that I will find myself adding to this list. And if you have something to add to it, I encourage you to do so!

 

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