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Archive for June, 2010|Monthly archive page

Men: Predator or Prey?

In Culture, Family, Friends, Relationships on June 24, 2010 at 3:50 am

For centuries men have been described as “animals.” Always ready to mark their territory, fondle their manly parts, and bang any HOLE that they can find. Many men use this history to cosign their inability to be monogamous. But I digress. The matter being addressed today is whether or not men have become more like prey than predator.

With TV shows just as Basketball Wives, Real House Wives and any reality TV dating show it is becoming more evident to me that athletes, performers, or any man with a power position and lots of money are sought after in a warped and calculated way by willing Stepford Wives stand-ins. Everything from their clothes, to the interests they have, to how many teeth they show when they smile are planned out to garner the attention of their “husband”-before that “husband” even knows he’s their victim. A few rendezvous and expensive dinners later she’s Mrs.CEO/Bastketball/Futbol…this list could go on. The point is- men are increasingly becoming the prey.

Even the poor ones can’t escape the fate of their gender. How many of us can name a guy we know with no college-level education, job, drive, 5 year plan, sense of self, car (depending on what city you’re in), who lives in their mother’s basement and have been purposefully “trapped” by a woman? Sad to say, I can understand the motivation of the aforementioned group of female predators: money, nice clothes, ridiculous amounts of accessories and the ability to contact doctors that can reverse your aging process in 10 minutes. Maybe the group of girls who purposefully impregnate themselves by bums are motivated by love. Hey, I couldn’t think of anything else so give me a break.

Either way, guys, rich or poor, need to man up (pun intended) and reclaim their role in society as predators. Call me crazy, I’ve never been a hunter and never will be…I enjoy the chase too much.

Jhoi

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Where Have All The Good Relationships Gone?

In Friends, Relationships, Uncategorized on June 15, 2010 at 3:41 am

Many of us consider ourselves to be highly conscious individuals who don’t look to the media for moral lessons. Yet in still, we find our mouths gaped open in shock when one of Hollywood’s cutest couples split. We moan that there’s “no way have I got a chance if Halle Berry or Sandra Bullock got cheated on!” Therefore, concluding that love is just as fictitious as J. Lo’s ability to act. Why do we give up so easily? There are a few famous couples that have formed lasting bonds. Then again, they’ve done this with the help of plastic surgery, key swapping parties and stints in rehab. In retrospect, this is hardly similar to the life we lead, making it extremely absurd for us to look to the media for examples of normalcy in any aspect-especially not relationships.

Needless to say, the divorce rate among non-Hollywood stars and starlets is constantly rising. This makes it understandably difficult for anyone to believe in the concept of true love when they are constantly bombarded with images that negate its existence.  It also raises the question ‘Where have all the good relationships gone?’ To answer it plainly, there are many emotionally healthy, loving, and honest couples out there that are constantly working at perpetuating the beauty of their relationship. In order to maintain such levels of happiness we have to exert the energy we use looking at the Beckham’s, our neighbors, family, and friends for relationship tips, and instead focus on the relationship needs and wants of our mate and our self. Continue to work at setting your own examples of how a healthy, honest, and loving relationship should be.

Jhoi

FRIENDS- How Many of us REALLY Have them?

In Family, Friends, Uncategorized on June 14, 2010 at 2:07 am

If you’re extremely in the know like me you’re linked in with LinkedN, your face is stuck to Facebook, and you are more than likely working up carpal tunnel on Twitter. This means that you have also witnessed endless rants between “bffs” and hundreds of postings with something to the effect of “chilling with my homie, I love you man!” Seems like everyone has hundreds or even thousands of “friends,” or have disillusioned themselves into believing that a true friend is someone who accepts a request or follows you back.  I’m convinced it’s the latter of the two.  Meanwhile, I stay comfy with my small circle of friends and my mediocre amount of associates. I have come to realize that I don’t need a plethora of platonic relationships or a few frenemies to justify my social status. This revelation comes with me having had more downs than ups in the past with people who I have sincerely thought reciprocated my friendship without ulterior motives. In these instances time proved my judgment wrong. I happily moved on from these experiences, refusing to call them mistakes- instead lessons.

This is why I am finding it increasingly necessary for people to step back and analyze the people who they hold in such high esteem. Realizing that they are a reflection of the company they keep in some form and that they should share the minute and major details of their lives with people who are genuine friends. Also ending their obsession with maintaining the façade of having hundreds of adoring friends. Popularity contests can stay in high school. Do as I did, analyze and recognize your inner circle. Find out who is truly a friend for life versus a friend of convenience. A friend for life should be honest, caring, positive, supportive and all of the other good adjectives. Whereas, a friend of convenience is someone who conveniently suits one mold or activity. For example, you may only go shopping  with one person. You may enjoy going to bars and parties with three others. You may even get in a lively brunch date with a few. However, when you feel your world is crashing down on you, your first thought will not be to turn to your shopping buddy, party animals or your brunch dates. You will want to seek solace and find encouraging advice in a true friend. Just remember that this will be pretty hard to do if you have surrounded yourself by make-believe.

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